/ A REPLY

I received Ethel's response to the letter that I sent her yesterday. Here is what she had to say:



Dear Sam,

Hindi ko ki-nerry ang letter mo. Sobrang touched ako. As in tats'd na tats'd ako. I was expecting isesend mo lang sa'kin 'yung IM mo with TL. Pero eto nga at makabagbag-damdaming sulat pala for me ang ipapadala mo.

Seriously speaking, I loved the way you composed this letter. Kung QA lang ako, at irrate ko itong e-mail mo ay beyond perfection ka. Very organized ang thoughts and talaga namang tagos sa laman.

Wala talaga akong mashadong masabi kundi THANK YOU!!!

Pasensha kung walang mashadong ka-artehan kasi web lang naggmt ko dito sa house. Saktong-sakto 'yung e-mail mo kasi andito ko sa time na hindi ko nakikita yung mga positive outcome ng mga nagagawa ko. You helped me see these things clearly now. And if there's one thing na magppa-stay sa'kin sa office is ikaw 'yun.

Thank you talaga. Nakausap ko na Mom and Dad ko and they understand me naman. They said na if it's really not worth it, just give it up. I wonder what's in store for me na nga lang eh. But I really, really hope na whatever happens, for whatever reason, magresign man ako or hindi, we'd still see each other para magchickahan and just to be there for each other.

Ang number ko pala ay 0915.563.xxxx. (As if hindi tayo magkikita mamaya. By the time na basahin mo nga siguro to, magkatabi na tayo sa quadrant... Haha!) Sorry naman.. I just can't help it... I need to reply to this e-mail.

Super thanks, talaga Sam... It's people like you who gives the world enough reason to evolve.

I'm sooooo glad we became friends.




Much love,~Tetel

P.S. Kaw na lang boto ko ha... ;-)



--------------------------------------

April 01, 2007

Ethel still considers resigning at this time.She called her parents and it made her glad to know that both of them support whatever decision she'll end up. She is only waiting on what TL have to tell her to finalize everything. Maybe she'll change her mind depending on how things will unfold the coming days.

/ A LETTER


Yesterday, I had a serious talk with my good friend/officemate Ethel. She shared some issues that she has with work and with her family. The thing that hit me the most is what she shared about her alone moments in her apartment, where and when she feels most empty [in that empty box she calls her apartment]. Being away from her mother, given the fact that her sister back home in Lipa needs her, and amidst some issues with work, she's currently trying to figure out if staying and working here in the city is all worth it.

I decided to write her a letter. My intention is simple, for her to know that I am just here and I understand her:





Dear Ethel,


Sana pag isipan mo talaga ang mga bagay-bagay nang mabuti, okey?!!!
Remember, baka stressed out ka lang lately, because of your sister's delivery and everything. Di ba ikaw nag asikaso lahat nun?!. Well, ikaw lang naman talaga ang pwedeng gumawa nun, wala ng iba, dahil ikaw lang ang nandyan for them.

Basta payo ko lang, wag ka makikinig kila Hopia na you are being "Emotionally Harassed" sa bahay, kasi at the end of the day, they are still family. At hindi ko sinabi yan kasi alam mo naman na inis ako kay Hopia, well totoo yan pero hindi iyon ang rason ko dito. Remember: Who else ang tutulong sa isat isa?- kundi family, di ba? Totoo na minsan maiisip mo: "bakit ako na naman?" at normal na mainis/sumama ang loob kasi hindi ito ang ginusto mo na kalabasan ng lahat. Pero alam ko in your hearts na di mo sila kayang matiis, for the simple reasons na (1) you LOVE them, at (2) RESPONSIBLE kang sister to them, at responsible kang anak to your Mum.

Pasasaan ba't malalagay din sa ayos ang lahat. Only time will reveal. Trust me. Naalala ko yung time na nag asawa yung 2 kong kuya. Nainis ako kasi feeling ko napasaselfish nila dahil sarili lang nila iniisip nila sa pag aasawa. At lalo na dahil sa hindi muna sila tumulong sa bahay, in terms of finances and all. Nakadagdag pa sa pabigat dahil walang stable na work yung mga kuya ko nung nag asawa sila. Ramdam na ramdam ko at ng magulang ko ang impact nun because mga parents ko din ang sumagot sa kasal at panganganak ng mga misis nila, habang nag aaral pa yung 2 kong younger sisters at ako naman ay fresh grad at kasalukuyang nag rereview para sa board exams. Ramdam ko din ang disappointment and frustration ng nanay ko, at yun yung part na mas masakit for me, na makitang nalulungkot yung nanay ko. Dumating pa nga sa point na sa sobrang inis ko, di ko kinakausap yung mga kuya ko pati yung mga asawa nila kahit na sa iisang bahay lang kami nakatira at that time.

But totoo nga na nangyayari ang miracles. Imagine isang regular governemnt employee lang ang tatay ko pero nairaos namin ang mga naging gastos at stress, with flying colors sabi nga. Pehong nag move out na sila from our house, at kasalukuyang nagsisimula sa kani-kanyang mga buhay at pamilya. Reward namin ngayon ang mga sooper adorable na mga apo. Most importantly, mas na-appreciate ko at mas naging love ko sila pareho[mga kuya ko] at palagi ko pinagdarasal na maging safe sila sa work nila abroad.

Nararamdaman ko na tuwang tuwa sayo ang nanay mo, kasi at least meron shang naasaahan at napapagkatiwalaan para umasikaso at mag alaga sa mga naiwan nya. She must be very very proud and thankful of you, Ethel. Kaya, maganda kung ito ang gagawin mong inspiration.
With reagard to work naman, basta gawin mo nalang ang mabuti, wag mo na pansinin mga di necessary. Wag ka din magpaapekto sakin ha, kasi naiinis lang talaga ko kay TL lately, baka ma impluwensyahan pa kita na mainis din sa kanya.

Also, with regard to lovelife, wag ka depress. I can see na may values ka, personable at adorable, besides being cute[like me]:-) (-wag kumontra ^_^). Kaya pasasaan ba't mahahanap mo din ang tamang-tamang guy na mag ko-compliment sayo, at sya mong mamatatawag na destiny-whom you can share your life with through thick or thin and and through ups and downs[hindi bastos meaning nito]. hehehe

Nevertheless, mahalaga din na meron kang priority. You can consider your family, your long term career plans[of being a sucessful bar/restaurant owner], health and lovelife, among other things. Pero wag mo kalimutan i-include yung SARILI mo sa mga priorities mo, kung san ka mas magiging masaya, both at this moment only and eventually in the long run. Makakatulong ng malaki ang pag pa-prioritize sa decision making. Kasi, your priorities will bring forth your sense of purpose and ultimately, happiness.

Sorry kung madrama, madrama talaga ko eh. At mas kumportable ako mag share ng thoughts sa writing.

I wish you peace of mind and happiness dear friend Ethel.

Nasayo supporta ko.

See you soon.

Sicerely,

Sam :-)

/ I AM FREAKIN'SICK!



I am feeling yellow today.

I just recently found out that I have this "magical" medical condition when the result of the company annual physical examinations was released.

Why I call it magical? For the simple reason that just like those regular magic shows on TV-it caught me uber-surprised!!!

According to my doctor, I developed (or maybe acquired, I honestly am not sure) this thing just recently, like a little over 3 or 4 months ago. I was relieved when she told me that mine is not active so it is not communicable... just yet. It's like the stuff that causes this condition is there but in hibernate mode. There is a possibility, though, that it may get active once I get enough exposure to stress, pollution, etc., and along with that it'll turn contagious.

I also receive the doctor's prescription today, and more than my worries about the side effect(s) is the cost of those darn pills. I'll be on medication for the next 6 months. Heck!

But the most most most sad part is, my skin might become yellowish with the pills.... Just not so glamorous.

Ohh Good Lord Bring It On...!

/ AN ACT OF PURE KINDNESS

(Note: This entry is inspired by another blog entry that I have read here).


It was over a month ago, probably in mid-February, when I was battling my way out from the train station going to work. I usually buy stored value train ticket so that I could avoid the long queue to the ticket booth during rush hour.

As I stepped out of the train, I hastily slung my bag across my chest and shoulder. Approaching the pass counter, I pulled up the train ticket from the front pocket of my bag, then fed it directly to the counter. Sling-sling, I was finally out. I grabbed the card and without looking, I slipped it back to the front pocket of my bag, then swarmed to the crowd to finally get to the bus terminal.

Suddenly, I felt that someone tapped me on the back. I looked back and there is this little lady, handing me something. She said "Excuse me, you dropped this". Then, she gave me my train ticket. Apparently, I was not able to slip the ticket back to its place, instead it fell off. Feeling surprised, I said "Thank you very much". She then turned and went back to the long queue to the ticket counter.

Then, I ponder...

What I realized is, there are still a lot of good people around, like genuinely good good natured ones-whom would not even think twice to do what's fair and good, and whose initial reaction is just plainly do what is right. Although it is so sad to admit, I somehow lost my belief in trust and in compassion. This is the reason why I decided to be just at least be indifferent with people. Imagine this, she could have just kept my ticket, after all the balance was still good for a couple of rides. She could have even saved herself from falling in line that day, if she chose to keep it! But her initial reaction was to return the ticket, and she did-even make an effort to go run after me to return the thing. Now when I look back, I can only mutter: Whhooww!!! This experience simply amuses me.

I have been recently thinking about how things happening in our daily life could become a turning point in life, like how a small instance can become such a huge impact towards a positive change. Question is: Does this little story made an impact on me? Answer is a sure YES! That is because it makes me believe that there are still a lot of good good souls out there, worthy reason to be compassionate for, and to care for. But what's most important is, it inspired me to multiply the kindness. I will definitely do my best to fulfill that.

And finally to you "Little Kind Lady in Boycut" (yes, she's got boycut hairdo), I WOULD LIKE TO SAY THANK YOU A MILLION TIMES FOR THAT ACT OF PURE KINDNESS. IT MADE ME RELIVE AND BELIEVE IN COMPASSION AND TRUST. I ADMIT THAT THIS EXPERIENCE HAS BECOME A TURNING POINT IN MY LIFE, AND I THANK YOU AGAIN FOR BEING AN INSTRUMENT FOR THAT. MAY GOD BLESS YOU AND YOUR FAMILY ALWAYS. I GENUINELY WISH YOU GOODLUCK WITH EVERYTHING.


Hhuuhhhh, I am feeling a little bored. I still wanna get that cheap white shirt from Bench. That for sure will look good with my white rubber shoes and an old jeans...

/ FUCKED UP



I would like to share this very beautiful passage with pictures that I came across nearly a month ago from someone else's blogsite. This makes me feel a little lighter today, since I has been thinking a lot about the discussion that Gian and myself had yesterday. Well, that may not be technically called a discussion shit since there is no argumentation involved, just plain interrogation and ego tripping shits! A reprimand is more like it. It fucks the hell out of me!!!

It sucks! Gian and his method sucks! It was quite obvious and very predictable that he only needed to hear the magic words: SORRY, I BOW TO YOUR FUCKING POWER, MAY I KISS YOUR ASS NOW??? just to finish the whole discussion shit. Well guess what, I did not mean sorry at all with that, not at all, not a fucking thing at all.

What's more annoying is his closing line that says: " Thank you for understanding this!". WHAT THE FUCKING HELL IS THAT?!!!

Yes, I get it : RULES ARE RULES. But what really fucked me off is his approach and the feeling the whole thing has left me. I felt that once again, I gave way. And once again, I am feced up. Now, I promise to do my fucking best to not be an ass kisser anymore, to anyone!!! I admit it, I have been the biggest freakin' ass kisser the whole while and I do not intend to continue that. I am drained by these ruthless fucckerssss. They sucked me too hard and I am dead drained!!!

Anyway, here is one thing now that keeps me going on. This helps a lot in collecting my pieces back together.

~o0o~

We need a little darkness to bring the beauty of light out.
A small detail is a part of the big canvass.
From afar, there is someone watching us.

Do you see the beauty behind the old stalks of problems you keep?
How can you achieve perfection if you let it block you?

Dont let it grow and branch out more.

You are not alone.
God assigned a group of people for you.
To grow with, to share life with, to breathe together.